Man vs. Wild

Does anyone else watch this show? I used to watch it all of the time. I loved it! Primarily because Bear Grylls is the typical, perfect hottie with an accent! Yummy! I even watched the show when it was re-runs. Then, I made sure to catch the episode with him on Oprah. And I fell in love with him even more.

But this post isn't about what a great second husband he would make for me, if I were ever to get divorced, which I'm not because I still love my husband even after all I know about him and his bodily functions, and even though he doesn't have a charming British accent, or that sexy, Simon Rex hair. (Actually, Bear and Simon resemble each other a lot - double yummy!)

Meet Bear (that's the best I could do)

Meet Simon (too many good ones to pick!)

This is about all the crap that makes me say WTH?! (or what the hell for those who are used to WTF)

So as I was working today, I decided to have the TV on for background filler. Something I do a lot. TV is like comfort food for me. I had been watching StormChasers (TLC Channel) and decided to leave it there and so Bear was on next.

The pre-show scenes were almost more than I could handle! But like a deer in the headlights... I just has to watch.

Here's a little list I compiled that made me think about My Life vs. Bear Grylls Life:



Things Bear does for Daily Activities:

• He lets his crew, staff, producers drop him off via helicopter, boat, car into some of the worst places in the world with only a backpack.


• He instantly, knows what his game plan is - where he's going to go, how he's going to do it, what he's going to use.


• He can live off eating plants, berries and bird pee if necessary.


• He somehow manages to have the will power/energy to record himself performing various tasks (aside from what the cameraman is also doing)


• He always takes his clothes off for some reason or another (yet another yummy moment, even if it is blurred out)


• If he isn't living off of eating plants, then he's eating yak eyeballs (vomit), goat balls (uhhh) or beaver dung (okay, I made that one up, but you get my point?).


• He always seem to know what animals to watch out for, which ones are dangerous and where they would be living or hiding.


• He manages to make it back to safety every time.

Things I do for Daily Activities (respectively in order to Bear's):

• No one drives me anywhere. I am a complete control freak when it comes to driving and I always manage to bring way too much stuff.


• Every game plan I ever have, rarely makes it out the front door with me - I tend to forget where I'm going, what I need to get done and usually end up back at home with not much accomplished.


• I think I can live off of Red Bull, Pop-tarts and sometimes toothpaste.


• I never have energy to do anything (except blogging!), and my camera battery apparently has no energy anymore either!


• I try to shower fully clothed, because it's not yummy.


• When I am not guzzling Red Bull, I am eating half of eveything I make for the Kid. Which isn't much and yet I still never lose weight!


• If it is not a human, a puppy or a cat I will avoid it at all costs. And yet, someday I will have to act like bugs, small animals with scaley tails and things that fly aren't creepy or gross. Great.


• I try never to leave my safety zone. But when I do, I manage to make it back - sometimes a little less frazzled, a little more confident and always glad I survived the concrete jungle.

But even still, with all his wild adventures and crazy survival skills, he still couldn't last a day in my shoes! Right? Right? Right....